In The Study

Hello, and welcome to this new little experiment I am running. First some background, my name is Caleb, I am an aspiring creative writer in my 20s who just decided one morning to start writing on this piece of digital paper to see where it leads. Afterall that is where most good ideas come from is it not? An idea can sit in your brain for weeks on end but every second you hesitate to act on said idea, the chances of it becoming a reality lessen. However, the moment you actually type the first word, or make the first stroke of the brush, you have made that idea physical.
Like I said before, I have absolutely no idea what I am doing here or what the intention of this blog will be. At the moment this is just a bit of a free writing exercise in order to clear my brain. I am in the midst of writing the prologue to one of my books I am starting to write (one of the 4 series I have currently floating around in my brain). I’ve gotten no farther than 1 single page and I already have writer’s block. It’s not that I don’t know what I want to write next, after all I have the whole basic plot outlined already, but rather I do not know where to start with the actual writing. I am an extremely novice writer (extremely meaning I have only 1 actual work under my belt, consisting of a short-short story written for my intro to creative writing class, which I have already begun rewriting and elongating), and I don’t really have much to go off in terms of the actual writing process. I am still in school and learning, but I do not want to wait two more years before I begin writing. I’m impatient and I want to start fleshing out these stories while they are fresh on my mind. Mind you, 50 hours ago from the time of my writing this paragraph, this entire world that I am now writing the prologue of the story for, was not even a concept yet in my brain. And now, with only 8 hours of work time, I have an entire planet with a map, landmasses, countries, the foundation of the races in this world (humans, elves and a special other one I won’t talk about yet), a pantheon of deities with a thought out mythology of how the world came to be, ancient cosmic wars that shaped it’s history and an entire plotline centered on three teenagers wrapped up in a devious plot somewhere in this world’s history.
I’d like to think that I have a natural gift for worldbuilding, but that art is only as good as your ability to tell a story in that world you make. I can come up with the people, their troubles and the means to the end, but the actual meat and potatoes of the text is still a complete mystery to me. I can organize the kitchen, prepare the ingredients and describe the final meal, but the actual art of cooking the food to perfection is one I am still trying to master. But I am still impatient. I want the ability to focus whole heartedly on this impossible task and spend countless hours of my day, tucked away in my office under the basement stairs, or perhaps out under some tree with my journal, fussing over the way magic works in my new world, but I cannot do that without the funds to support my antics.
Money is the ultimate motivator and killer of any artistic endeavor. In order for me to devote my time to my writings, I need money, and in order to have money, I need writings to sell. Now, in order to sell my writings with any hope of making more than a penny, I need good writings, and in order to have good writings I need the skill of a good writer, and to build that skill, I need time to write… and so on and so forth. Let me be clear, I am not saying in any way that a writer needs to be full time in order to build their skills, nor am I saying that the only way for me to ever make something worth reading is to quit my day job and live in my parents’ basement until the author in me is formed. Most authors today rely on day jobs to make their living and writing is their slightly lucrative hobby. Nor am I saying that I want to write in order to become a wealthy best-selling author. If my books only ever bring in a hundred dollars, than I will be satisfied, so long as the people that do read my works, find them both entertaining and encouraging. I want to write for the story’s sake, but for that story to get the care it needs, I need to be better. It is not a war between time and money for me, but rather my skill against my patience.
So, for now, I will continue to work my day job, I will continue to take my classes, and I will continue to slowly build my abilities and skills in my writing, until the day comes when I can sit back from my computer and look at a piece of art created by words on a page, that I am actually confident in sending into the world.
I think this has been enough of my insane rambling for today. Maybe I will make another post, or maybe this solitary article will be shunned to the cobwebbed corners of the internet until the end of time. In the meantime, if you were fortunate, or unfortunate enough to stumble upon this post and you find yourself at all moved or resonating with it consider coming along on this little journey and let me know how you feel. Give me advice, share your stories or just reinforce the fact that I am just rambling insane jargon. Either way, I’ll see you all again sometime, but until then you can find me in the study.